You might not want those freshers taking over your house, but they will be there… judging

It’s the time of year where freshers become prospective letters and unofficial judges of your house.

They’ll be there with their judgemental comments about the size of every single room in the house, and ear-splitting screams when they find a dishwasher tucked under the sink.

There’s only so many viewings you can tolerate, but there are a few ways to make it easier – for you and them.

"Be prepared"- Scar, 'The Lion King', 1994

‘Be prepared’- Scar, The Lion King, 1994

Hide the mess

It’s a student house, so there’s bound to be some mess. But there is a limit to the amount of mess you can leave lying around casually.

The solution: find some convenient hiding places, like under the bed – obviously – or a handy empty cabinet (if you’re a boy).

No self respecting fresher is going to check under your bed.

Remeber though, too little mess could scare the freshers away – this is a student house, not the Sistine Chapel.

No one will be any the wiser

No one will be any the wiser

Find that smell

There’s always one smell which haunts the noses of all who find it – it has to go.

It could be among the mess which has now been shoved into the wardrobe, or the sweet and sour sauce from the Chinese you had a month ago, which is tucked away at the back of the fridge.

Find that smell and destroy it, it will benefit everyone.


Potentially dangerous

Make the house more homely

Clearing messes and smells is only the beginning. Those freshers want to feel like they can live here at this very moment in time, so make it comfy.

Have some complimentary drinks at the door, or hang posters of popular culture around your room in order to make light conversation on why Walter White is such a badass while sipping champagne.

Those posters can also cover up the mould and cracks on the wall, so everyone wins.



Don’t be too open

The Breaking Bad poster gives them an insight into your life, but be careful about being too open. Your room may be a temple of your personal life, but to those on the outside, it’s a scary place.

Be warned: one slip and all is lost.

Of course, there are other ways around the fresher problem. One that comes to mind involves arson, which could look bad in the long term, but at least those freshers can’t snoop around.

A certain deal breaker

A certain deal breakerIt's only a matter of time

Don’t be drunk

Not much more needs to be said on this really. Drunkenly informing the nervous freshers wandering around your house the heating never works and your landlord is shit won’t do much to stop those viewings (or endear you to your landlord, who pays the gas bill).

it can only end brilliantly

It can only end brilliantly

As long as their mess threshold is higher than yours, you’ll be rid of the nosey fuckers in no time (but don’t actually set fire to your house).

  • Tom

    I got an angry email after a viewing walked in to my room while my Kaiserreich flag was up